Category: Satire
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Students excitement over AP exams
AP exams are for two weeks straight, starting on May 5, 2025, and ending on May 16, 2025. These two weeks are consistently students’ favorite time of the year. “I just love it so…
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Pope Leo XIV: A Powerful Story of Faith and Transformation
Move over Vatican City — there’s a new pope in town, and he’s bringing deep-dish diplomacy and Windy City wisdom to the Holy See. Pope Leo XIV, formerly known as Robert “Lil’ Blessings” Prevost,…
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New live action Bambi Movie
Disney announces a live-action Bambi and promises it will be darker than any audience expects or needs. (Photo Courtesy of abigail crawford.)
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What is Singles Awareness Day
Singles Awareness Day is celebrated on February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day. It’s a day for those not in happy relationships to celebrate the joys of being single. Dating app companies like Tinder…
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Christmas Songs that Take it to Far
Scan the Spotify codes to listen to “Dominick the Donkey (the Italian Christmas Donkey)”, “Grandpa’s Gonna Sue the Pants Off of Santa” and “You ain’t getting diddly squat” if you think it is worth…
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The “Talk Tuah” podcast is the greatest podcast ever
Haliey Welch is a revolutionary icon who changed the world with her simple, but expressive, phrase “Hawk Tuah, spit on that thang.” Welch’s skyrocket to fame has led her to move from her hometown,…
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Leesville falls victim to vandalism by INSPIRING artists
In what can only be described as a bold attempt at creative expression, several Leesville Road High School students took their art projects to a new level this week by vandalizing the school. Armed…
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Who even cares about college baseball?
Every Memorial Day the NCAA runs a selection special for D1 college baseball. The teams in the selection special change from year to year, as the selection special shows what teams made it into…
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Taylor Swift Rigs the NFL?
Three Kansas City Chiefs players during a 2021 game against the Commanders. The NFL has recently been under fire for potentially biasing the Chiefs during the 2023-24 playoffs. (Photo Courtesy of Public Domain)
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The Safety of walking to Leesville’s campus
Students at Leesville are prideful in the safety of their crosswalks. There have been zero counts of speeding through neighborhoods, running stop signs, or almost running over pedestrians. Walking to school is a form…
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How to Get Healthy
For many people, losing weight is a New Year’s resolution goal. However, many are unable to follow through. Not Josh Burgerz though; he was able to stay healthy and lose over 200 pounds in…
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Students Receive Their PSAT
Many students at Leesville Road High School got their PSAT scores back recently. Some students felt ecstatic about their scores while others felt a sense of dread. Alex Shloop, sophomore, is known for always…
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What Makes A Good Date?
A local McDonalds establishment. A meeting spot for flourishing couples to nourish both their bodies and relationships. (Photo courtesy Christopher Pharr.)
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The Pools remodel on Student Life (Satire)
The Murphy pool was built on the roof, but no one is allowed on the roof without an admin present. (Photo courtesy Daniela Plata)
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Weightlifting Club introduces blood tests
As of their most recent meeting, Leesville’s Weight Training Club has come to a new decision. Effective immediately, all current and new club members will be subject to blood testing. “We’ve noticed a rising…
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Dads Getting Crapped On
Dads always get treated nicely. When dads have money they empty their wallets for their kids, and in return they get side glances and wishy-washy behavior. Such as Daniel Brote who recounted how on…
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How to make friends
Having a great friend-group is an important aspect to an enjoyable high school career. However, not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive friend-group. Do you ever find yourself wondering questions like: how…
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Better mental health for students starts with skipping
As we all know, the new Jacobs administration wants to end or just cut down on students skipping class by enforcing hall passes. Cutting down on students skipping classes may have an unintended negative…
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The DMV is now using its power for good
At the Driver License Office in Goldsboro. Right after I got my license. (Photo courtesy of Abigail Crawford)
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How to get a girlfriend (5 best tips)
Getting a girlfriend in high school is one of the most challenging tasks for a student. However, if one can succeed then they are seen as an alpha male. There are several factors to…
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Fire Department Accidentally Goes To Leesville (Satire)
Last Tuesday, the fire department went to Leesville Road High School to check the building to see if there was a fire. This is quite typical, as Leesville has had many fire alarms in…
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Parents Urge the School to Create Smoking Sections
LRHS has had over thirty fire alarms because of students smoking in the bathroom. What concerns have come to the principal, parents are frustrated with the amount of class time being stolen from their…
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North Carolina Museum Of Art Adds New Exhibit “Leesville Bathroom” (Satire)
A New Exhibit Recently, the North Carolina Museum of Art accepted a new modern art piece– a full scale replica of a Leesville Road High school bathroom, complete with working toilets, sinks, and fire…
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Satire — Why we need to focus on the past.
According to experts, students should be taught skills like critical thinking, problem-solving, and collaboration, which will help them succeed in the fast-paced and ever-changing world of the future. They argue that teaching students about…
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Murphy Building up in flames after a fire alarm turns out to actually be for a fire
The Murphy Building is off limits to students for the foreseeable future after a fire caused burn damage to most of the building’s main floor. The fire started in a food’s kitchen after a…
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Losing your Airpods
Losing your AirPods can be a real bummer, now you can only half listen to your music and podcasts. Sailor Donna, sophomore, said, “I lose about 150 AirPods every year.” If you lost one…
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Snoop Dogg’s Business Ventures
As we have all seen over the past decade Snoop Dogg also known as the DO double G has made waves in the business industry. Snoop wants to try everything and has many businesses…
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Speaker Shenanigans (Satire)
I just want to remind everyone that it is NOT funny to watch someone’s lifelong dream of ultimate political power crumble only because they aren’t crazy enough. Unless, of course, that person is Kevin…
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Exams (Satire)
The new organization Underclassmen Against Senoritis is making a big blow at seniors by trying to get finals reinstated. The seniors are ready to fight but who knows what might happen.(Photo Courtesy of Public…
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Leesville Student Caught in Diamond Heist
Tuesday October 31, French authorities apprehended a North Carolinian teenager in the midst of a transatlantic diamond heist. The teenager in question is Sarah Winslow, a student at Leesville Road High School in North…
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Midterm Satire
Well, President Joe Biden is surging up to a 43 percent approval rating, so naturally Democratic chances look pretty good. We have less than two weeks until the election, and I have to say,…
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Students Race to Finish Early Applications
As the early application deadline looms nearer, Leesville students are entering crunch mode to complete the necessary forms. Eva Marks, senior, started her college applications in August, but procrastination took hold quickly, and by…
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Leesville Football Team has to get Themselves Hype, No Thanks to Their Student Section
Week after week, Leesville football takes on a new team while lacking support from their student section. The atmosphere in the Leesville student section is quite solemn. Leesville students typically stream other football games…
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AP Exams leave students drained and unmotivated
While the AP exams do not indicate the beginning of summer break, their finalization unofficially marks the end student’s motivation for the remainder of school. Katie Chesner is a Junior at Leesville road…
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Senior Parents Are Trying Their Best (Satire)
As the school year nears its end, Leesville seniors seem ready to throw out their parents’ rules and begin an early transition to collegiate independence. Broken glass litters the hallways, anti-establishment graffiti lines the…
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The College Board is Beneficial to College Preparedness (Satire)
Many students spend their high school careers confused about how to impress college admissions offices. Lack of transparency and promises of “holistic reviews” from universities create a general uncertainty, especially with advice coming from…
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Satire- WWIII Draft
As conflicts grow in Ukraine, the threat of teenage boys being drafted into the US military grows larger. While the US runs on an all-volunteer armed forces policy, tensions between Russia and Ukraine worry…
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How To Cope With College Rejections
With the end of the school year right around the corner, Leesville’s seniors are preparing for college– well, most of them. A slew of acceptance letters from February to April also means a pile…
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How to ask for Extra Credit
The quarter just came to a close and your grade is less than satisfactory. You need to boost it by just a few points, but that involves proving to your teacher you deserve the…
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Wordle Absolutely Sucks (Satire)
“I got it in three!” “I got it in four!” OMG — shut UP! Wordle is taking the world by storm. The New York Times recently bought the hit language game for seven figures,…
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Spring Break Plans at Leesville
Now that winter break is over, students at Leesville Road High School are in a frenzy to finalize their spring break plans. For the exclusive, popular friend groups at Leesville, this can be a…
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Newspaper and Yearbook Should Be A Combined Class
The Newspaper and Yearbook classes are held to similar standards. While Newspaper students are expected to write an article each week, it’s expected of Yearbook that each month, a photo will be taken. The…
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5 Efficient Ways to Prepare For Your Exams! (Satire)
As the first semester comes to a close, students all across Leesville Road High School (LRHS) scramble to prepare and study for their final exams. Reviewing traditional textbooks, student-made quizlets, and other means that…
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What you can do with the New Door Opener
Wake County has been bestowing door openers to every teacher this year. So today we are going to try out how it can be used. The door openers sell for about $8. If every…
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What About Thanksgiving?
Despite stores, radio stations, and that one annoying neighbor pulling out all their Christmas cheer, it is not time for Christmas. One impassioned Pleesville senior, Jane Blaine, explains why. “Christmas… I’m all for it,…
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Satire: How Useful are Cargo Pants?
Every day, millions of people roll out of bed, brush their teeth (hopefully) and get ready for their day. Choosing an outfit that is comfortable and functional for the weather is important and can…
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Why Students Aren’t Dressing Up for Spirit Week
While some students go all out on Spirit Week, a small portion of the Leesville population stands against the week of theme days. These students decided to protest Spirit Week, here are some of…
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Best College Application Tips
It’s that time of year again — college application season! Many high school seniors who plan on attending college are burdened with the task of writing essays, filling out applications, and meeting deadlines. But…
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What is Dad Culture?
John Merdes, a father of 2, said, “Being a dad is all about patience, once you have a kid you are a dad, but there’s much more than that. The quality of a father…
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The Leesville Parking Lot
It is 6:50 in the morning, and I turn right at the light closest to the Leesville student parking lot. Immediately, I am greeted with a long line of cars waiting to turn left…