Satire: How Useful are Cargo Pants?


Every day, millions of people roll out of bed, brush their teeth (hopefully) and get ready for their day. Choosing an outfit that is comfortable and functional for the weather is important and can be hard some days, but with the help of cargo pants, this is never an issue. Shorts are for hot weather, sweatpants for cold, but what are cargo pants for?

Not breathable and not comfy, cargo pants feel like cardboard on your legs. Despite this fact, Dads around the world flock to the idea of waking up and putting a pair of synthetic cotton LL.Bean deluxe cargo pants on. Those 12 pockets allow for every key and gadget to be stored with ease.

The blue collar workers in the U.S use them as well for tools and daily work endeavors. Paired with a set of steel toed boots, this combo is an unstoppable force. Wearing them to weld, cut, glue, and nail, the working class gives these practical pants a run for their money. 

The Fashion of Cargo Pants

But why are these pants still worn by dads and uncles as a weird fashion statement?

That is a question that plagues the minds of millions around the world. 

Patrick Fleming, a sophomore at LRHS and an avid cargo pant wearer, said, “They have so many pockets and they offer amazing leg protection all in a super stylish piece of clothing. People that wear them are such cool fellas.”

The truth about individual wardrobe choices is that anyone can wear what they want — even ugly cargo pants in the dead of 100 degree summer heat. It is up to the individual to choose the level of comfort and practicality that they endure. 

Cargo pants are a great tool to have at a person’s disposal; however, they are not needed all of the time, they’re just too powerful with the endless possibilities of knick knacks being stored in the pockets.


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