The No-contact Method

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Heartbreak is inevitable- it is part of the human experience. It is common for people to experience a breakup at least once in their life. Following a split, individuals often feel uncertain about their next steps or how to move on. 

An effective method of healing from a breakup is the no-contact method. As the name suggests, the method requires breaking off all communication with the ex. The breach of communication allows time for healing. 

The key to the method is getting rid of all contact. In turn, it will be easier to detach from an ex. The most standard way of achieving this is blocking an ex on social media, silencing or blocking their number, and ending all connections with them to prevent any further attachment to them. 

Jules White, Senior, practiced the no-contact rule after her most recent breakup. 

“Initially, I was only comfortable blocking them temporarily. Eventually, I got comfortable enough to silence their number. I also blocked them on social media. Once I prevented contact, I started to heal,” she said. 

The method results in acceptance of not getting back together with the ex. It provides time to heal without the risk of the ex disrupting the healing process. 

“This method taught me independence and how to stop relying on my ex for support. It helped me grow comfortable with myself and discover new things about me,” said White. 

Unfortunately, the method does not deliver immediate outcomes. The no-contact rule requires patience. A person will not instantly lose all their feelings for an ex when they hit the block button. However, the method does speed up the detachment and healing process.

“Compared to past breakups, I got over my ex faster than when I would keep in touch. Staying in contact with exes only prevents wounds from closing and healing. It is hard to move on from someone when you are constantly communicating with them, that only furthers the attachment to the person,” she said. 

Exes are comparable to addiction. Commonly after a breakup, one or both sides may become fixated on their former partner. A fixation with how the ex is doing without them develops and often results in social media stalking. The no-contact rule helps prevent a desperate obsession from either side. When a social media account is blocked, its content is not available anymore. 

In some cases, an ex will find a way to reach out, regardless of being blocked. Responding to them faces the risk of undoing any work you achieved. 

“You can go about it two ways if an ex reaches out. If they reach out with a rude remark- do not engage. Engaging shows weakness and makes you feel crappy,” she said.

Some exes reach out with good intentions and want to check on their ex-partner. However, this does not mean you should respond. 

“I don’t still recommend responding. If you feel the need to respond, take that time to set boundaries with them. Explain to them that you would prefer to stay out of contact with them and will reach out when you’re ready,” White said. 

No contact does not need to last forever. Once a person has fully moved on from their ex and healed from the breakup, it is acceptable to reach out to them if they are okay with it. However, this mainly applies to relationships that ended healthily. 

“The method truly helped me heal. I think it is important not to depend on people for comfort and support. Practicing this method allowed me to build a relationship with myself without interruptions from my past relationship,” said White. 

The no-contact method provides valuable time to learn how to grow as a person and achieve independence. The method proves to be successful in detaching from an ex. 


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