Plan B Students Rushing to Gain Personalities


Justin Thyme, Leesville freshman, has one concern with returning back to school: he’s out of time to adopt a new personality. He’s currently debating between being a skater, a theater kid, or the class clown. (Photo in the public domain)

Expressing concern that his last week of virtual learning is quickly passing him by, Justin Thyme, a Leesville freshman, told The Mycenaean he now has no time to acquire a cool new identity before in-person classes start.

The 14 year old acknowledged that he must dedicate his remaining free time to developing a socially acceptable persona to display to his classmates. “I haven’t had my camera on in class, and I always say my mic isn’t working when I’m called on,” said Thyme. 

All his classmates and teachers know about him is his green auto-generated Google Meet icon.

“The clock is ticking, and I still haven’t figured out who I’m going to be yet,” said Thyme. He hopes to “remake himself as a popular kid, a rebel, or a member of some other respected social category” before his first day of classes at Leesville. 

“At one point, I was going to try to be a TikTok star, but I never learned how to lip-sync and after that I kind of lost track of the days. Now, I’ve really got to scramble if I’m going to put together a cool personality,” said Thyme.

Plan B students will be back on campus starting February 17.  “I’ve only got a few days left to get down to work and change myself into the person I want people to think I am.”

The freshman confirmed he is currently considering which speech patterns, mannerisms, and clothing preferences to adopt. He stressed that he must choose between various potential identities to hone the presentation of his new personality carefully. 

Of course, the most crucial part is convincingly selling that persona to his fellow LRHS students when school starts.

The teenager says he has begun testing various phrases under his breath throughout the day. He has spent hours trying out different hairstyles and facial expressions—including aloof indifference, casual self-assurance, and unruly defiance—in his bathroom mirror. 

“It’s difficult to perfect my expressions since I have to wear a mask at all times in school,” said Thyme. “It’s a lot more work to figure out how to make the top half of my face look, but luckily there are plenty of YouTube videos out there.”

Thyme also admitted to making several false starts during his 11-month break from in-person school. He had to call off his attempt to play summer sports and present himself as a jock due to the pandemic. After two months spent trying to teach himself acoustic guitar, in hopes of becoming a sensitive artistic type, he realized he had no rhythm.

Describing a catastrophic attempt to “go goth” after winter break two years ago, the freshman said he had learned a valuable lesson about the consequences of not choosing a well-constructed identity before returning to school. 

According to Thyme, the group of goth kids at Leesville Road Middle School dismissed him as a poseur. After a day or two, he had to put away his black clothing and boots and return to being a normal kid.

Typical freshmen concerns are finding ways to class, navigating one-way hallways, maintaining social distancing in class, and the different bell schedule. The Mycenaean asked if Justin Thyme was concerned about these things regarding his return to school. “Why would I be worried about anything else? Showing off my fake self is the most important thing and has more of an impact on my high school years than COVID,” said Thyme.

“There’s a very short window at the start of Plan B to establish myself, and then I’m stuck being that person for the rest of the year,” said Thyme. “One thing’s for sure: If I don’t get my act together, start pretending to like a completely different type of music, and choose to either love or hate team sports, I won’t have any option but to suck it up and go back to school as myself.”


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