• September 17, 2019
0 Comments
The happiest day of my life will not be when my children are born, when I get married, or when I go to Disney World. The happiest day of my life will remain when I won the lottery.
Luckily, I devised a fool-proof method of winning mid-sized prizes ($5-$500) on scratch off tickets. Below is a step by step, guaranteed process for lottery success.

1. Wake up one morning with no particular purpose or reason to do anything productive. This ensures that your hopes and expectations are very low. Any form of high expectations would be extremely disastrous. Stay focused on doing nothing and not winning the lottery.

2. Eat a boring breakfast, such as oatmeal or Raisin Bran.

3. Lackadaisically transport 3 containers of used antifreeze to the Hazardous Waste Center at the North Wake Sanitary Landfill located off of Durant Road. Although this step may not be specifically required, you must complete at least one out-of-the-ordinary task

4. Test the waters of fortune by purchasing a very small value lottery ticket ($1 or $2). If you earn any prize from this ticket, use the lucky money to purchase a higher value ticket.

5. Purchase a $10-$20 ticket. But before scratching the ticket, play three games of Mortal Kombat 9 on PS3. This ensures that you have no anticipation of winning the lottery and keeps your mind focused. These menial tasks ensure that your mind is completely off of winning the lottery.

6: Finally, scratch off your ticket and reveal your prize. If you followed every step scrupulously, you should be rewarded with a considerable prize.

Winning the lottery is a psychologically dangerous event. The change of mentality that comes with winning a prize can develop into an addictive habit that can destroy lives. So keep in mind, the process above only works one time. If you win the lottery once, it is imperative that you never buy another lottery ticket, as you are never lucky ever again. It is also feasible to lose all of your prize money in a freak incident, such as a $170 speeding ticket the following day.

Author

wendtj@yahoo.com
American rapper and entertainer. He is most usually recognized for his long-standing rap beef with Kiley "KZA" Blades and work in the East Coast underground hip hop scene. Word Up magazine has described "The Jellyman" as a man with "ridikulus swagga and quick-witted rhymes", and his 2009 single, "Throw Ya Snuggies in da Ayer" was heavily distributed as a classic throughout the suburbs of Raleigh. Jon had the unique experience of being surrounded by noted rappers in the Raleigh area as a young child. These early encounters with hip hop led him to begin rapping at the young age of 10 in the presence of the local gang bosses who would employ "The Jellyman" to freestyle for their personal entertainment. At the age of twelve, Jonathan Wendt was recruited into the Wutang Clan, which he left after a short span of one year.

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