Everyone makes fun of Will Bennett, senior, when he writes his silly first person articles. I owe Bennett an apology because I was once included in that group of hypocrites, and now I find myself in his size 13 shoes.
On Tuesday, May 17, I woke under the impression that the next 24 hours would be normal and predictable. But by the time I entered the student parking lot, I knew that something was very, very wrong.
Worried, I bypassed my friends who stood in the lobby and headed right for Mr. Broer’s room, where I knew that I could find someone who would understand my struggles.
After shoving past Broer’s lesser sophomore students, I found the oracle I sought.
“Will,” I exclaimed, breathlessly, “my eye is twitching!”
Bennett looked at me contemplatively, sadly shook his head and looked to the floor, and said “Alas, young Virginia, I know what troubles you, yet I know not the remedy.”
Disappointed with this lack of help, I shuffled to the nearest desk and sat, head in my hands, weeping.
How could this have happened to me?
I spent the rest of the day in a contained state of frenzy, wondering, “Should I be quarantined? Will this ever end?”
To pass whatever time I had left, I hypothesized about what could have caused this malady. Could it be stress? I have had a lot on my plate lately… between worries about next years’ editor arrangement in newspaper, keeping up my GPA without going crazy, and a new job at Dunkin Donuts, I barely find the time to Facebook stalk my peers!
There is also the chance that the twitch is a symptom of chronic illness. I did unknowingly hug my sick friend, John Kleinert the other day. And my poor diet and irregular sleep pattern surely adds to the likelihood that I am slowly dying, and the road to the grave begins with the twitch.
When I woke on Wednesday, May 18, I thought for sure that I was in the clear. The tribal dances I had done and prayers I had chanted clearly had paid off. I was cured! But to my chagrin, just as the day before, I entered the student parking lot and was stricken with the twitch.
Enraged, I again returned to Bennett, seeking answers this time. Shaking in his Sperry’s, he said in a thin voice, “My, my.. I have never seen a case this serious in all my days… I will pray for you.” He quickly added, “But maybe you should sit farther away from me.”
I retraced the line of events that had led up to this moment and recognized a common theme. Each spell had struck me as soon as I was on school campus. Could it be that the problem was Leesville herself?
Refusing to accept that the school that had been nothing but good to me was the cause of my illness, I consulted WebMD, which was surprisingly not helpful. The twitch persists…
Virginia Reed is a superb writer and an even better friend. She enjoys unhealthy foods and writing sarcastic articles. Virginia is the Online Editor for the 2011-12 school year and was a Managing Editor for the 2010-11 year but has not forgotten her humble beginnings as a staff writer when she was a wee sophomore. Her goals for the future are to get an A in newspaper and to apply to college in a timely fashion.
Love this Virginia! Especially the quotations below. Good for grins this morning–thanks!
“Alas, young Virginia” …….”Shaking in his Sperry’s” ……“But maybe you should sit farther away from me.”
Oh, but sorry about the whole twitch thing.