Sat. Jul 2nd, 2022

“It was a big spider… but my shoe is bigger.” These were the words that would etch Jonathan Wendt, senior, into Leesville’s history as the biggest hero of all time.

The day started ordinarily enough – Wendt ate five strips of bacon, two sausage links, two eggs, a banana, two cups of coffee – black, and a bowl of Cheerios.

After finishing his breakfast, Wendt lifted his two younger brothers onto his shoulders and spouted encouraging words into their ears before he finally left for school.

That’s where his life changed.

Wendt walked into his newspaper class only to be met by the cry of damsels in distress, a sound all too common in his life.

“I’ve been saving helpless women since my preteen days. Pulling them out of fires, crashed cars and burning buildings… you know, the usual, so this was nothing new,” Wendt said.

The source of the distraught cries from the girls was a massive spider, approximately the size of a silver dollar and, more than likely, extremely venomous.

However, Wendt showed no fear, sprinting over the spider, quickly extinguishing its life in a single, furious stomp.

Immediately after, Wendt pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the tears from the crying girls’ faces.

“I felt saved. Who knew what would’ve happened if he Wendt] hadn’t been there,” said Nia Doaks, sophomore.

“I thought it was going to attack me, and without that guy [Wendt] it probably would have,” said a grateful Kimmy Stewart, sophomore.

Though the majority of the student body has no idea who Wendt is, it is the little men, the unknown heroes of the world, that keep it functioning properly.

So for that, Leesville thanks Jonathan Wendt, hero.

By Will Bennett, Staff Writer

Will Bennett is a remarkable staff writer who was recruited from his early days. In fact, before Bennett could even speak, the Mycenaean took serious interest in him. While many consider this practice to be unethical, the Leesville editors disagree. Alex Stewart claims that his contributions to the staff have been "Pullitzer Prize" worthy. In addition to his writing, Bennett enjoys animals, Freshberry Frozen Yogurt, Hip-hop music, and long walks on the beach. He can often be found on his seaside estate composing original music, writing moving poetry, and balling with old basketball greats like Larry Bird and Michael Jordan.

3 thoughts on “Wendt saves the day!”
  1. I am so grateful that Jonathan Wendt is finally getting the hero’s recognition he deserves. Jonathan was a hero to many students of all genders and backgrounds in my trigonometry class. We are all better for having Jonathan as a courageous member of the Leesville Loonies!

  2. I can’t believe this was actually posted.

    That being said, it IS a really nice chunk of writing….

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