I am halfway through my fourth and final year of high school.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaallelujah! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halleeeeeeeeeeeeeelujah!
In celebration of this achievement, I’m going to do things a bit differently this month. Here is a list of things I have noticed in the past month that shows how (not) well we seniors are faring. Enjoy.
1. This semester, I made the incredibly stupid decision to take legitimate classes: AP Statistics and AP Spanish. On top of that, Newspaper is now first period. This column is screwed. (Hence the list.)
2. Now that UNC’s first admissions decisions have gone public, the school’s senior smartypants have slowed their roll a little bit as well. And by “slowed their roll,” I only mean they have stopped pulling their hair out over tests and stuff. They still enjoy shoving their intelligence down your throat. Despite being deferred, (Really, UNC? I’m freaking Colombian) I am too sleepy and in too much denial to be upset. Plus, I’d rather see the world through black-and-gold-colored glasses than sky-blue ones.
3. Since the start of my new classes (besides Newspaper), I have had the pleasure of meeting some fresh faces. These students are full of bright, insightful ideas and sharp-tongued, witty comments. I want to punch all of them in the face. These people probably know who they are because I try very hard to make my discontent abundantly clear to them. So, a helpful hint to students with people like me in their classes: If you hear a long sigh and the sound of someone banging their head on a desk right after you have opened your mouth, odds are your comment was extremely unnecessary and not funny at all, despite your intentions to establish yourself as the class clown; you rebel, you.
4. Recently, a wave of delusion has crashed over the females of the class of 2011. Many senior girls seem to have become so distraught over the course of their senior year that they’re mistaking their second-skin spandex leggings for pants! Ladies: Please leave something to the imagination.
5. Senior superlatives went out in recent weeks. People who have no sense of humor are throwing hissy-fits left and right and refusing the superlatives simply because people judged their character correctly and voted honestly. GET OVER IT YOU WEENIES.
I don’t know what to tell you, seniors. One semester down, one to go. We are quickly evolving into the living dead, with eyes half-closed and homework unfinished and napping for more hours than we are awake.