Upon completing the last of my college applications (which really don’t matter after getting the one acceptance letter I care about), not much has caught my attention regarding the real world. Were those Chilean miners ever saved? Whatever happened with those election thingies? Did I mention I’m going to college in nine months?
Instead of keeping up to date on worldly events, my days are spent scouring YouTube for funny videos of people dressed as kangaroos, questioning the hygiene of Leesville XC members who frequently pee themselves when they race, and gossipping with Mycenaean EIC, Kelly Williamson, about the most recent illegal activities of our friends and how we would have committed those acts ourselves without getting caught. Sidenote: Thank you to the dozens of seniors this year who have made my life immensely more entertaining with your shortsighted shenanigans and self-pitying sob stories. I have never heard so many hilariously unnecessary cautionary tales in my life.
At recent football games (note: NOT Homecoming,) I have noticed a trend: Many class of 2010-ers group together in an attempt to look cool and show off their new air of college confidence to those stuck in high school whom they think still worship them. My first thoughts when I see these alumni are: What are you doing here… at a high school football game… on a Friday night… when your college is five hours away and there are most likely hundreds of parties going on there? Did you forget that you no longer go here? Are you not aware that I am dying to be in your position right now, except if I were you, I would be at a party with other people my age?
Those people confuse and anger me for two reasons: one, they are wasting their time at a high school on a weekend when they could be far, far, far away from 8409 Leesville Road; two, IT IS NO LONGER THEIR SENIOR YEAR. IT IS MY SENIOR YEAR. Their time on the need-to-please, top-of-the-totem-pole parking meter has expired. Pay your fine and kindly move along, please.
I apologize for all the hostility. I believe it is coming from a place that has realized we have only just finished the first quarter and therefore have a dreary, boring 75% of the year ahead of us. However, knowing Loony Leesville, it won’t be long before someone commits another felony or we find out that Coach Green superstitiously vomits before each game. Oh, wait…
Alas, fellow class of 2011, we have miles to go before we sleep. Many months of whining, excessive partying and not taking responsibility for our actions await us. You hang in there, you firework-setting, partybus-riding, pants-wetting lunatics. We shall overcome.