A day in the life of a freshman


Andrew Goff wanders the halls every day invisible, virtually unknown. Many students wonder, is he a ghost? Perhaps a lost soul trying to find his way. In reality, Goff, like many other students, is an all-too-common breed of creature at Leesville Road High School: a freshman.

Freshmen are of a similar origin to their upperclassmen superiors; the only real difference is that they have failed to acquire an innate sense of maturity thus far into their young lives.

“I hate freshmen,” said Kyle Holtman, a dominant senior.

Goff understands that his top predator is indeed the upperclassman, and he has learned to look out for certain, scarier seniors. “Matt Greenhaw terrifies me; he has facial hair already!” stated a startled Goff in a private interview session.

Greenhaw, lacking the killer instinct that some of his peers obtained, offered his sympathy. “I feel bad, even remorseful. I don’t even know [Andrew Goff]. If I had the chance, I’d take him out for an average dinner – maybe we’d get some chicken-fried steak.”

The concerns of freshmen expand past that of their predation chain. In fact, it would seem that freshmen have developed an intricate social life  that expounds deeply into relationships.

While being interviewed, Goff explained that he had a girlfriend that went to the same school as him, whose identity will remain undisclosed. Goff noted that it was “pretty cool” dating her. This reporter thought nothing of it and moved on.

However, not even one day later, Goff and his girlfriend broke up. Whatever glimpse he had into his future with her was eradicated instantaneously.

Not only do freshmen have a delicate way with relationships, they also appear stuck on outdated, old-fashioned ideals. It seems that they are well inclined to walk in lines. The freedom of the hallways simply confounds them.

This is likely due to the conditioning the poor freshmen endure during their time in the spawning grounds known as middle school, where the only accepted practice is walking mindlessly through the halls in lines like drones.

Overall, the high school experience is one of terrifying proportions for a freshmen. Learning to deal with their predators, relationships, and even walking in lines, is merely part of the transition process.

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Will Bennett is a remarkable staff writer who was recruited from his early days. In fact, before Bennett could even speak, the Mycenaean took serious interest in him. While many consider this practice to be unethical, the Leesville editors disagree. Alex Stewart claims that his contributions to the staff have been "Pullitzer Prize" worthy. In addition to his writing, Bennett enjoys animals, Freshberry Frozen Yogurt, Hip-hop music, and long walks on the beach. He can often be found on his seaside estate composing original music, writing moving poetry, and balling with old basketball greats like Larry Bird and Michael Jordan.


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