The Mycenaean

The Daily Collegian reported a study that revealed college females who rush sororities have lower self-esteem and worse body image than those who do not.

The public’s response: No $%&#, Einstein.

Northwestern University’s Ashley Marie Rolnik and Steven A. Miller of Argosy University, the innovationists who administered the study “Here’s looking at you: self-objectification, body image disturbance, and sorority rush” came to the unworldly conclusion that college freshmen who rush sororities think less of themselves than girls that choose to stay away from Greek Row.

And here I thought Legally Blonde, The House Bunny and Sydney White were fictional.

These so-called “scientists” studied girls who were rushing to determine whether the sorority system encouraged eating disorders and self-objectification. They conversed with the rushes at various times in the sorority selection process (five days before, four days in, seven days in, bidding day, one month after rush), asking how the girls felt about themselves and the Greek system.

Rolnik and Miller used the Eating Attitudes Test, or the “EAT” (good one, Rolnik, do you moonlight as a comedian?), to compare the rushes’ eating habits to those of girls who are not rushing. She determined that both groups of girls were “well below the However, rushes scored higher on the “bulimia” and “food preoccupation” subscales than non-rushes.

Another revelation from the study reported “there was a significant main effect of membership, such that new sorority members showed higher levels of self-objectification compared to those who did not rush.”

Again, not exactly earth-shattering news considering these are young college coeds attempting to win a popularity contest to receive a bid from Kappa Delta Mocha, or whatever.

Captain Obvious studied the girls’ BMIs, and exposed “for every one point increase in BMI, a rush was 44 percent more likely to drop out of rush.” In short: the fat girls quit early.

The end of the study showed that the sororities do not breed this kind of bulimic, appearance-obsessed behavior; they just accumulate people with these tendencies and encourage them to continue.

Consider your mind blown.