Senioritis: A High School Epidemic

It is the most common disease among high school students, more contagious than the H1N1 virus, a disease that drives teachers crazy, and is the only disease that keeps kids coming to class; senioritis.

Definition: A feeling of superiority from being a senior leading to slacking off on school work.

Alternate teacher definition: Laziness

Symptoms: Sleeping, lack of studying and incomplete homework, perfect attendance

Most Vulnerable: Seniors

November arrives, cold air runs through the school, and it seems quiet. The hallways seem bare since three-fourths the senior class lines up outside the nurse’s office. Half the students tear up their binders and text books while the others can hardly keep both eyes open; obvious signs that senioritis has struck Leesville with a force.

The nurse observes students one by one; in awe. “This is one of the worst cases of senioritis I have seen in all of my fifteen years,” she said.

After her examination of checking sugar levels and homework completion, the nurse hands the student a five-hour energy shot and sends them to class. “It is terrible; I would send them home if I could but no one is going to miss class and risk the chance of taking exams.”

School trash cans fill with daily planners, text books, and English IV and Calculus binders. Senior classes are crowded, too crowded.

Everyone arrives in class, on time, every day. “Roll call is easier,” Mrs. Wilkerson, English IV teacher, says. “I look around and every day, every seat is full and with everyone’s head down.  I can see everyone clearly.”

It took only three months, and senioritis spread through Leesville faster than Barrios on a kick return. More kids have caught the disease than the number of catches Logan Bible has on the year. Man, I love football season.

Anyway, all around kids smack the floor as they fall out of their seats in class. Teachers hang flyers in the hall reading “Attention, lost homework! If found please turn in for a 70% late grade.”  The students frantically search for the work knowing they cannot afford a zero if they want to meet the exam exemption requirements.

The rest of the senior class, who have fought off senioritis, try to carry their fellow peers. They preach about college and job opportunities to heal the lazy minds of students who have fallen victims to senioritis. Only a few can persevere, getting back on track after the mental trauma and fatigue.

Research has been done by the School Epidemic Watch (SEW) committee, and while no results are confirmed, the committee believes that after college exceptions letters arrive, senioritis could spread to over 90% of the senior class.

Every student must act fast, taking drastic measures to protect themselves from senioritis. One slip up could a;lkdjffajkdldgfa;lkjkkkkkkkkkdddddddddddddddddddd

*The epidemic has suddenly hit the Newspaper Staff room. Cory Maddox’s head suddenly slammed against the key board in the middle of class, and he was unable to finish writing. He has not written another article since he was diagnosed with senioritis.

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