I am in the final month of sophomore year, and it’s starting to dawn on me that in a couple months I will officially be upperclassmen. I’m in that sort of middle stage where I’m no longer a clueless freshman but not yet a stressed out junior. Everyone says that junior year is the hardest year in high school. As the months slowly pass by, I get to thinking: Am I actually ready for potentially one of the hardest years of my life?

We got called down to pick our classes, and I’m slowly realizing that these classes will make or break me next year. 

Which makes me think about whether these new classes will set me up for success in the future, and what that future success actually means. Success for me means getting into a good college that my parents can proudly brag about. Success means being able to have a future where I don’t have to feel dependent on anyone. Success means never worrying about money and being able to support my family. Success means having absolutely no regrets and being fully at peace within the life I have built for myself. Success means so many different things to me. 

My parents want me to excel in everything I do, they especially want me to maintain good grades while taking classes that challenge me. I feel like there is so much pressure to load up on college-level classes, and it just makes me think about whether I’m doing it for credit or because I feel like I have to. 

I also have to consider if my sophomore study habits of straight up procrastination can survive my junior-level work load.

There’s also the aspect of trying to beef up my school resume: Do I have enough service hours to be impressive? Have I ever shown leadership in school? There’s so many questions swirling around my head. 

People are starting to run for junior president and other executive positions, and I’m not even in any school clubs. I have lots of time consuming extracurriculars which is good, but that means I don’t have time after school to go to any meetings or to even be a part of a club. With the things I’ve done in high school so far, I’m beginning to see that I really should have been doing more. 

With all these questions bouncing around in my brain I start thinking: ok, how can I answer these or solve them?

I have recently been trying to become more involved in school by looking into more clubs and beginning my application for things like the NHS. 

I’ve started to list out my qualifications for each thing to see what I’ve already accomplished and to see what I need to work on or add to have a more impressive resume.

I know that I won’t know if I’m ready till I’m well into my junior year.

I know I am not the only one in this stressful situation which helps settle me down a little bit.

I know that I could be completely overreacting and just being dramatic over starting a different grade.

I know that I will survive, but that it will most likely kick my butt the whole way.

Ghazal Alshikh, sophomore, said, “I honestly don’t feel ready. This year feels like it’s going by so fast, and I just don’t even know what to expect, so it’s been stressing me out.”

Some people are more prepared than others but unfortunately I am not one of those people.

I’m not saying I’m completely unqualified and on my way to my downfall, but I definitely wish I had done more to set myself up for a greater chance of success next year.

I’m eager to observe and analyze how my perspective will shift once I am fully immersed in my junior year.