• October 14, 2019
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George Cody, an undersized freshman at Leezville Road High School, constantly pesters Derek Brewer, his A.P. Calculus A.B. teacher. Every day during D.U.M.B. Lunch, the petulant student approaches his teacher and demands help on an assignment or just asks random, unrelated questions.

Brewer tries his best, but he cannot understand Cody’s whines.

“He sounds a bit like a dog,” Brewer said. “When my dog whines at home, I just kick it. Too bad I can’t do the same to George. Maybe then he’d leave me alone.”

Leading child psychologists agree that Cody’s behavior stems from a deep-seeded sense of entitlement. According to Dr. Marie Anne Worth, Ph.D., Cody’s siblings overshadow him both at home and at school, and his reaction to this lack of attention is to demand more. He believes that it is his teacher’s job to provide him with such attention.

Cody, the king of rationalization, disagrees with this reasoning. He claims that he only wants to improve his grade in Brewer’s calculus class.

“I just want help. I’m a student, and it’s my teacher’s job to help me. I just want an A in his class,” said Cody. “I get more than enough attention at home.”

[Note: A special thanks to Moe Skeetoe, who translated Cody’s high-pitched hums.]

However, Cody currently has an A in A.P. Calculus A.B. According to Brewer, Cody does not need extra assistance and often unnecessarily begs him to change grades on his assignments.

“He comes to me with assignments that he earned 99s on and asks me to give him a 100,” said Brewer. “George needs to change his attitude, not his grade.”

In this ongoing battle, neither Brewer nor Cody has the upper hand. Cody will continue to pester his teacher until he has a perfect 100 in calculus, but Brewer will refuse to give in and even invites the challenge.

“He can bother me all he wants. I’ll keep ignoring him,” Brewer said. “I have plenty of practice every day during second period when my annoying Newspaper seniors try to talk to me. You just have to put up an emotional wall.”

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