A modest proposal

We’ve all heard the tales of the high speed drives to and fro the beloved, yet so far away eating establishment named Cookout. Near death experiences and close-calls with the cops are frequently included in the tales of journeying to the remote locations of Cookout.

According to Google Maps, the nearest Cookout, located in Durham, is 15 minutes away. The next closest Cookout, on Falls of the Neuse, is 17 minutes away. With all lunches being 35 minutes long, a round trip to Cookout is simply unreasonable.

However, being invincible teenagers, we trek for our glorious burgers and creamy milkshakes anyway. Therefore, I offer my modest proposal to keep us teens safe during lunchtime, while we still get our fill of heavenly, fattening foods.

Think about the last time you heard the word “Arby’s.” It was probably accompanied by words such as “gross,” “repulsive” or “nauseating.” However, you probably have not heard tales of rushing to get back to school after a disgusting meal at Arby’s.

It would in the best interest of the safety of our students to replace the Leesville area Arby’s with a Cookout. Students could quickly and safely devour their delectable fast food and return to school in a timely manner.

Replacing the Arby’s with Cookout would allow students more time to eat, and slower eating improves digestion. Speeding during lunch time would decrease, keeping students safer and minimizing car accidents and tardies to third and fourth period.

Making the switch from Arby’s to Cookout has physical and emotional benefits for students. Speeding and tardies will decrease and happiness among students will skyrocket.


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